I will not give up on my dream of becoming a fitness model! 

Dreams can come true… 

Do you, or did you, ever have a dream? A dream is defined as: A vision. Dreams can be literally (what we see when we fall asleep) but they can also be symbolic. My dream of wanting to become a fitness model is both literal and symbolic. Literally because I want to become what I’ve been dreaming about for the past year and half. Has the road been that easy? I can say with all honesty it has not been easy at all. This past year I’ve been going through some financial hardships although I am still making it working part time. At the beginning of the year, I was doing some working out, (dancing, Pilates, walking) and eating lighter BEFORE I started my new job. This included cutting out carbs, juicing, eating veggies, some fruit, and cheeses along with lean meats. As soon as I started working I got off track with my working out and good eating habits. Once again, I have to take an honest look at myself: am I going to blame my new job for taking away my work out time? My bad eating habits? As of right now, as I write, I am single and childless. When and if I do have a family, am I going to blame them for me not losing weight? For me being unhealthy and overweight? What else is going to come into my life, rather good or bad, am I going to blame? What do I take responsibility and finally look at myself. Do you, the reader, often find times when you make excuses about why you can’t work out? Are they excuses or are they truly distractions?

One of the biggest distractions in my life has been work, school, sugar, the internet, and so called friends and family. But the biggest thing that I’ve realized is that I can’t let these so called distractions cause me from reaching my destiny and goals. One of the biggest things that I’ve realized is that when it comes to reaching a goal, you have to make time for it. If that means waking up when everyone else is asleep, then so be it. When you want to stand out and be different from the others, you have to take the time to be different. In the spring of 2014, while at my hotel job, I ran across fitness modeling competition videos. I can’t put it words how happy I was I saw this videos. It felt like I had been ‘re birthed.’ I felt my self esteem rise up, and I also felt a spark in confidence that I had never felt until watching those videos. I interacted with some fitness models who were in town for a fitness modeling convention/show here in Milwaukee at the previous hotel where I was once employed. They were all blunt and honest with me, in saying that you can’t do this for living, but it is a growing popularity with fitness modeling and fitness awareness in general, so this might change in the near future. It is about health and feeling good and looking your best, but one of the biggest things that I’ve come to realize is that you have to capitalize off of any market that you want to get in. At the smallest and on the biggest levels. You can have a talent and be talented all day but if you aren’t making money off of it, then in some ways it come be considered to be a waste of time. I’m not saying don’t be healthy because being healthy is important. But you also want to be compensated too, for being healthy and losing weight, and giving healthy advice to people. One of the guys (male fitness model) that I talked to said: there’s nothing like strutting on that stage. Nothing. Everything else in life doesn’t matter. But he was honest in saying that you do have to follow a strict diet routine when getting ready for a competition. He ate nothing but  fish and veggies, not even poultry or dairy! (And def not bread, potatoes chips, fries, and soda)

So I know that I have a tough road ahead of. I have to make working out and eating right a religion, not just a simple lifestyle. In the meantime, I have to continue to re educate myself on fitness, working out, by reading and watching online videos to humble myself, and to bring myself in a place of humility and humbleness when it comes to the whole weight loss issue. All of my life I have fought with low self esteem, being told that I’m just not athletic enough, not worthy enough, not strong enough, not focused enough, etc. And once again, I have to examine how I spend my time. I make time for Facebook. I make time to text message people. I make time to watch silly videos. But what I need to make time for is fitness and reaching my fitness and health goals overall.